


The Cat's Meow

by HighWarlockMegaraBane



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Literally And Figuratively, M/M, Oneshot, Random prompt, alec isn't very observant, chairman has ulterior motives, character development for Chairman, lots of fluff, magnus doesn't read warning labels, potion-making goes awry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 18:59:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16124720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HighWarlockMegaraBane/pseuds/HighWarlockMegaraBane
Summary: Or: Magnus doesn't read warning labels.A bit of potion making goes awry when Chairman decides the brew would be a fun thing to play in. Now Magnus is stuck with an Alec he can't communicate with and has to rely on him to get him back to normal. The one problem? Chairman isn't helpful in the slightest and Alec has no idea about Magnus's predicament.Just a oneshot, something that nagged at me in the middle of the night and then I saw the prompt online: "In Which The Main Character Doesn't Read The Warning Labels".





	The Cat's Meow

**Author's Note:**

> I did not proofread this very hard before I posted it. If there are errors, I'm sorry. I started, finished, and published this today, haha.
> 
> Have fun!
> 
> This is not a bestiality fic, I've had someone call it that, it isn't. It's just some fluff and Magnus being a moron.

Magnus danced around his room, humming to himself as he plucked ingredients from his various storage cabinets. He had a pot boiling on the stove, several ingredients already mixed into it. He glanced at a couple bottles, darting back out of his room and dancing around Chairman. The kitten followed him, jumping up onto the counter and sniffing curiously at the multi-colored wisps of smoke curling from the pan.

               Magnus shooed him away. “Not now, kitten, this is very delicate,” he warned. “You don’t want to burn your whiskers.”

               He uncorked a small bottle and shook some of the dust from inside into it. The bubbling mixture frothed and bubbled. It began to smell a bit like cinnamon buns; the smell made Magnus smile in an almost intoxicated way.

               This potion was for a client of his, a werewolf who, after a bout of parvo, was finding it harder and harder to transform back into his wolf form. The potion was designed to loosen the bonds between his human half and his wolf half—it was a fairly standard potion. However, it was incredibly volatile. Any misplaced ingredient could cause it to blow.

               Magnus picked out three small salt rocks from another vial and turned to drop them in. He let out a choked gasp, however, as he saw Chairman Meow had not heeded his warning and was reaching a paw toward the brew.

               “Chairman, _no_!” Magnus shouted, dropping the vial and reaching for his cat. Chairman jumped and bumped the pot, splashing it up himself. He howled and scrabbled about on the counter, knocking the pan. Magnus grabbed his kitten by his scruff and swung him up into his arms, reaching out a hand wrapped in magic to catch the pan.

               It hit the ground with a loud clang and a tremendous splash, and Magnus felt it soak into his clothes. His magic touched the brew and with a loud bang, the world flashed white.

 

Magnus awoke with a groan, burrowed into something soft and warm. He rolled onto his back and stretched, popping his head up. He stretched his legs out in front of him—

               Wait.

               _What?_

               Magnus stared down at the long black legs and paws in front of him and backpedaled hard. The only issue was—the legs followed him. He slammed into something hard and let out a cry, tumbling over himself and landing in a heap on the floor.

               “No, no, no, no, no,” Magnus groaned, stretching and flexing each of the paws. Small, sharp claws extended from each toe.

               “Son of a bitch, no, fuck this, goddammit,” he was muttering, turning in a circle, stumbling over himself. He had a long black body and a long tail that was bristled like a bottlebrush. He placed paws awkwardly and uncoordinatedly, stumbling and tripping until he ended up on his side again.

               “That damn potion must have reacted to my magic somehow,” he muttered to himself. “My magic and Chairman’s fur— _Chairman_.”

               He jumped to his feet and looked up. It took him a few moments to regain his bearings. He saw a pile of fabrics on the floor in many colors— _oh, of course those are my clothes. I hope I’m back to size soon so I can wash them—if they stain, I am jumping out the window._

               He paced around the countertop and into the living room, noting just how tall the coffee table was. “Chairman,” he called lightly, uncertain of how communication with his cat would work in this form. “Chairman Meow.”

               A sleepy rumble sounded from above, vibrating in Magnus’s ear. He frowned and rubbed at it with a paw. _That_ would take some getting used to.

               “I’d skedaddle if I were you,” a tired, almost teasing voice called down. “My master doesn’t take very kindly to strays, and neither do I.”

               Magnus looked up, stretching up on his hind legs to do so. Chairman was stretched out on the couch, looking at him through half-lidded eyes. _That isn’t really what I expected my cat to sound like._

               “Chairman!” Magnus said with a bright smile, dropping back to all fours and backing up several steps as the kitten rose to his paws. “Thank Lilith you’re not hurt.”

               “Why would I be?” he asked. “And _who_ are _you_?”

               “Chairman, it’s _me_ ,” Magnus pressed, excitedly kneading his claws into the carpet. Then he stopped, realizing he was doing the same thing he constantly scolded his kitten for. _Wow, all this stuff is just second nature, isn’t it?_ “It’s Magnus.”

               “Wow.” Chairman leapt elegantly off the couch and paced in a circle around him. His voice was rich and smooth, much like that actor Magnus had seen on the TV. What was his name? “It seems like the tables have turned on us,” he continued with a purr. “When do I get to turn into you for a day, my darling owner?”

               “Laugh it up,” Magnus meowed, rolling his eyes. “Listen, I’m going to call Alexander and have him come over, maybe he can fix this—”

               Chairman let out a rolling _mrrow_ that Magnus interpreted as humored. “You can call him all you like, but he won’t be able to understand you. I’ve been talking to you for _years_ and nothing _I’ve_ said has ever gotten through to you.” He licked a delicate paw. “Go ahead and try to call him. I’ll watch.”

               “I shall,” Magnus said, twitching his tail. “He’s supposed to come over for dinner tonight _anyway_ , so I’ll just get him to come over earlier.”

               “More power to you.” Chairman sat down and wrapped his tail around his paws. “First, go get your phone.”

               Magnus stopped. “Where…is it?”

               “On the countertop.”

               Magnus let out a low hiss as Chairman began unhurriedly grooming himself. This was going to take a lot of work.

 

Alec pulled his ringing phone from his pocket, raising a hand to Jace. The other boy stopped, panting hard, and dropped his staff back to his side. Alec backhanded sweat from his eyes and answered the call.

               “Hey, Magnus,” he said lightly.

               There was a pause, and then loud meowing greeted him. Startled, Alec pulled the phone back from his ear and looked at the screen. Definitely Magnus.

               “Chairman, did you call me again?” Alec asked with a grin. The meowing got louder, and then he heard another higher meow in the background. The first set of meows disappeared with a hiss and a growl. Alec raised his eyebrows.

               “Did you get another cat, Magnus?” he muttered to himself. Then, into the phone, he chuckled, “Chairman, Magnus isn’t going to be happy that you called me again. Go on, go to papa.”

               A loud, drawn-out meow rang through the phone, much like the cry the kitten made when he wasn’t fed fast enough. He heard another mew and another hiss.

               “Magnus, if you’re in the room,” Alec said with a smirk, “I’ll be over for dinner at six, like we planned, okay? I’m gonna hang up now, Chairman.”

               He cut off the next yowl by disconnecting the call, shaking his head.

               “His cat calling you is a regular occurrence?” Jace inquired.

               “He figured out that if he steps on the button enough, the screen turns on and the pictures move,” Alec explained, rolling his eyes. “So once he gets in, he button mashes and more often than not, he calls me. That’s why mine is password protected.”

               “Why you? I’m sure the High Warlock of Brooklyn has more than one contact,” Jace replied, swinging his newly obtained brandistock experimentally.

               “I’m pretty sure Magnus has me set as most speed dials on his phone,” Alec muttered, blushing. “Regardless. Let’s get back to me kicking your ass. I have an hour and a half before I need to be across town.” He braced himself, a seraph blade in each hand as he grinned at his _parabatai_. “Come on. Show me what that stick can do.”

               Jace laughed. “I’m sure Magnus will do that tonight, too.”

               Furiously red, Alec took the bait and launched himself forward first.

 

Magnus yowled in frustration as the call was disconnected, tail lashing.

               “It took me twenty minutes to get the call to go through!” he cried.

               “I told you,” Chairman meowed for the third time, stretched luxuriously on the coffee table. “I don’t know why you’re so eager to get back to your big, clumsy form anyway. You look so much better like this.”

               “Are you saying I look bad on the daily?” Magnus snapped, faintly wounded.

               “I’m _saying_ , cats as a general rule look better than people.” He licked one paw, toes spread wide. “Although, I always have liked your eyes. They look so much better than your lover’s.”

               Magnus felt a growl building in his chest. It vibrated in his throat and pulled his lips back from his teeth in something like a sneer. “Take that back,” he snarled. “Alexander is the most gorgeous thing to grace this world.”

               Chairman seemed to realize he was serious and sat up. “I’m sorry, Magnus. That _was_ rude of me.”

               “Jamie Campbell Bower,” Magnus suddenly burst out.

               “Bless you,” Chairman replied, blinking.

               “No, that’s—that’s who you sound like,” the warlock replied, sitting down. “He’s an actor.”

               “So he’s another human,” Chairman said with a sigh. “What did you _think_ I sounded like, dear owner?”

               Magnus sat down on the carpet. “I don’t know,” he said honestly. “I can’t say I’ve ever thought about it.”

               “You have human-dogs walking into this apartment on a daily basis,” his cat meowed, fixing him with an intense tabby stare, “and humans with plants growing on their skin, and yet you never _once_ stopped to think about what I really sound like? I’m very wounded, Magnus. I went out of my way to learn your silly commands and you never even bothered to listen to me.”

               Magnus felt heat burn through his body and he looked away. “It is my turn to apologize, Chairman. You’re right.”

               Chairman hopped gracefully down from the table and touched his nose to Magnus’s. It wasn’t a gesture Magnus was unfamiliar with, but it felt strange now that their faces were roughly the same size. “I forgive you, you stupid human,” he purred. “Now let’s see, you still have some time before Alexander arrives. Shall I show you the ropes of being a cat? If you’re going to be stuck like this for a while, you might as well learn how to live like this.”

               “Is it all going to be things I’ve yelled at you for doing?” Magnus asked as he followed his cat down the hallway and into the bedroom.

               “Mostly,” he called back, laughter in his tone. “Now come on. It is time to explore the depths of your closet from my point of view.”

 

Alec knocked and stood with a hand braced against his hip, tapping his foot. He had let himself into the apartment complex when his rings had gone unanswered. As soon as his knock faded, he heard running footsteps and faint, frantic meowing.

               Alec frowned. He pulled his black lanyard from his pocket, the gold key dangling off the end, and for the first time used the house key Magnus had given him. The door unlatched easily and swung inward.

               Chairman Meow was laying on the countertop, tail twitching as he rumbled at Alec, tabby eyes wide. Alec came in to pet him, kicking the door shut, but hesitated as another figure leapt up onto the counter, meowing wildly.

               It was a new cat, one he had never seen before. It was solid black, nose to tail, with the most luminous gold-green eyes he had ever seen. The fur was sleek, the ears unmarked—this cat was _gorgeous_.

               “Hey there, buddy,” Alec said softly, reaching out a hand. Much to his surprise, the cat shoved his whole face directly into his palm, purring loudly. He rubbed his body along Alec’s arm and to his torso, looking up at him with those stunning eyes.

               “Jeez, you’re friendly,” he said with a smile, scratching the cat’s ears. Chairman yawned and stood up, stretching until his tail quivered. The new black cat meowed loudly at the Shadowhunter, stretching up on his hind legs to jam his nose in the sensitive underside of Alec’s jaw, paws braced on his pecs.

               “Wow, you’re _really_ friendly,” he winced, chuckling. “Where’d you come from, buddy?”

               Chairman let out a low rumble, and the black cat turned to him. They looked at each other for a while before Chairman twitched his tail and jumped down, pacing toward the kitchen. The black cat hurried to follow, turning to look back at the Shadowhunter and shoot him a loud, meaningful meow. Curiosity seizing him, he followed.

               The kitchen—was a _mess_. Vials, potion bottles, and corks were abandoned all over the countertops. Many were half-empty, but one was shattered on the ground, scattering what appeared to be small pink salt rocks. There was a pot that looked like it had been knocked off the stove, spilling the silvery-blue liquid that was inside. There was a pile of rags on the floor—no—those were Magnus’s good pastel blue jeans, the ones Alec loved.

               He picked them up, careful not to touch the liquid in case it was some sort of poison or potion that turned him into a frog again, and examined them, frowning. Magnus’s favorite snakeskin belt was still wrapped through the waist, locked in its usual place. His boxers were even still tucked into the legs—those awful rainbow ones that made Alec wince. He folded them gently and laid them on the counter, picking up the white belly shirt next. It had faint glitter all over it, and some sort of magic symbol on the breast.

               “Magnus?” Alec shouted. The new cat yowled loudly. Alec pet him absently and laid the shirt haphazardly on the jeans, wandering further into the apartment. He slowly pulled a knife from his boot and twisted it in his palm, bracing it.

               The two cats raced after him. Alec pushed open the bedroom door, shushing them irritably as they continued to meow at him.

               Nothing out of place. Several boxes of ingredients were scattered about, which always happened when Magnus had something brewing. Magnus’s podium which held an old spellbook was perched at the foot of his bed, as usual. Clothes were piled up in one corner— _he still hasn’t done his laundry,_ Alec realized with a sigh as he saw his own t-shirt in the pile.

               A quick search of the bathroom, spare bedroom, living room, and even the downstairs laundry room turned up nothing. Concerned now, Alec pulled his phone out and dialed his boyfriend.

               On the living room floor, his phone buzzed to life. Alec swore and disconnected the call.

               “I suppose you don’t know where Magnus is?” he asked of the cats, beginning to feel worry digging into his ribs. Chairman clawed his way up Alec’s leg, tail lashing. When Alec bent down to pick him up, the cat launched himself off and tore into the kitchen. “What’s up with you?” he asked. “Are you _that_ hungry?”

 

“He’s so dumb sometimes,” Magnus groaned, working his paws irritably against the tile floor of the kitchen as Alec called after Chairman, who was speeding like a bullet into the kitchen. “I don’t see how it’s that hard to figure out. Plus, I don’t want him to worry about me.”

               “I’m more worried about him,” Chairman sighed, rolling his eyes. “Honestly, he’s so ignorant sometimes I’m surprised he hasn’t wandered in front of a car yet.”

               _I could say the same about you,_ Magnus thought, irked, but kept quiet. Alec came into the main room—when he wasn’t being stealthy, his heavy booted steps shook the countertop and vibrated Magnus to his ears. “Does it always feel like this when we’re walking around?” he asked.

               “It’s even worse when you get into a mood and stomp about,” his cat replied with a purr. Alec pulled open a cabinet and got out Chairman’s box of dry food, shaking it lightly and making an inquisitive noise.

               “It’s so hard to understand him,” Magnus noticed, tipping his head this way and that. “And I know what I’m listening for.”

               “You pick up on a few things after a while,” Chairman replied. “Names, mostly. Basic commands, too—‘get down’ and ‘stop that’ are the most common.”

               “How do I get him to understand me?” Magnus asked desperately, jumping up and padding over to where his clothes were folded on the counter, sniffing them. He wiggled into his shirt and poked his head through the neck hole, meowing to get Alec’s attention. “Baby, look! It’s me!”

               “That’s smart,” Chairman mewed slowly, amber eyes wide in realization. “Maybe if we put you in situations that you’re in as a human, he’ll get the hint.”

               Alec looked over at the cat and made an amused sound, rubbing Magnus’s head. The other cat purred and licked his palm. “Alexander, it’s me,” he meowed, looked at him with intense gold eyes. Chairman could see his tail tip twitching inside the shirt. “Please understand.”

               “Hey, what’s that drink you were making?” Chairman asked, trying to remember the human word. “The—The potion?”

               Magnus turned to him. “It’s in one of my spellbooks—I don’t know the name.”

               “Could you get the spellbook and maybe show it to him? If that potion made you this way, maybe he’ll be able to read it and figure it out.”

               Magnus’s eyes glittered. “It’s worth a shot.”

 

Alec sighed irritably as both cats took off down the hallway, paws skidding on the hardwood. “You two are nuts,” he groaned. He set the box of cat food down and leaned against the counter, picking up a vial and reading it. “Wolfsbane, huh? Must be for that werewolf client of yours, Mags.”

               He was reading the warnings on the back of the rock salt vial when a loud bang echoed from the bedroom, startling him. He set the vial down and hurried down the hallway, knife at the ready.

               Chairman and the black cat were standing over an open spellbook, the former meowing loudly while the latter pawed at the pages. It looked like they had knocked it off Magnus’s podium that he kept at the foot of his bed.

               “Okay, I’m starting to get the feeling you two are trying to tell me something,” Alec said, ready to suspend his disbelief for one moment. It had been a long day and he was running out of options. He sat down on the carpet and scooted forward until the spellbook was in front of him. The black cat began chewing on the corner of a page.

               Alec reached forward and turned it. This seemed to be the proper response, because the black cat got more excited and continued to paw and chew at pages. Alec turned them one by one until they had almost reached the end, when suddenly he leapt into the air and landed with a mighty yowl on the open page.

               Alec picked him up and set him aside, scanning the page. Chairman sat with his tail wrapped neatly over his paws while the black cat paced behind him. Both of their gazes were fixed on the Shadowhunter.

               “A Bond-Loosening Potion?” Alec read, brow furrowing. “’Ingredients: salamander spit, Himalayan rock salt, wolfsbane, werewolf’s fur, essence of faerie rose, dried lotus petals, vanilla extract’…” He looked up. “Is this what you wanted me to read?” he inquired, pointing.

               Chairman reached out a paw and touched the page, claws extended as he rumbled softly. Alec shrugged and continued to read.

               “’Used where there is difficulty in form changes…this includes transmutation magic and werewolf transformations…reaction is highly volatile; work with care…add ingredients only after brought to a rolling boil’…” He paused. “’Adding parts of any animal or plant that is not the intended result will result in the brewer, are they unlucky enough to come into contact with it, to assume the form of that animal for the duration of the potion’s effects’.”

               The black cat paused, bouncing from paw to paw eagerly. Alec looked at him for a long time, then down at the page, then back up.

               “Magnus?” he asked, very slowly.

 

“Once you get back to size, we’re going to have a talk about you experimenting with these potions,” Alec muttered, finger trailing down the page as he stood in front of Magnus’s stores. The potion seemed simple enough—it appeared that it had an antidote that would completely cleanse Magnus’s system. While it said nothing about it working on members of another species, Alec wasn’t sure how it would work on a warlock who assumed another shape.

               “Okay, so most of these are written in faerie?” Alec guessed, picking up several corked bottles and glancing at the labels. He turned to the black cat sitting on the bed, licking his paws. “Well, since I don’t know if you can understand me, I guess I’ll just grab ingredients and if I’m wrong, I suppose you’ll tell me.”

               Magnus looked up, tongue poking out from between sharp white teeth. Alec grinned widely and reached over to rub his fingers on Magnus’s cheeks. He purred, paws kneading the blanket.

               “Angel, you’re so cute like this,” Alec cooed. “I hope this doesn’t wear off too soon.” He kissed Magnus’s forehead and he purred louder, sticking his nose into Alec’s cheek.

               He turned back to the spellbook and began sorting through vials, setting things on the bed. Magnus looked at each in turn and didn’t make any move to stop him, so Alec figured he was right. He finally gathered them all up awkwardly in his arms, balanced on the spellbook.

               “Now listen,” he said sternly. “I’ve never made a potion before, so if I mess this up you are _not_ allowed to laugh at me.”

               Magnus fixed him with innocent yellow eyes.

               “You’re going to laugh at me,” he grumbled. “I know you are. Come on then, kitty. Let’s go make this thing so hopefully you’ll end up back as a human soon.”

 

“At least he finally figured out what happened,” Chairman said, his fur warm against Magnus’s as they sat on the countertop, watching Alec rifle through the fridge.

               “I’m just a little irritated this antidote requires a full day to sit,” Magnus replied with a sigh. “I just have to wait for another day and I’ll be back to myself.”

               “That isn’t too bad,” his cat replied. “At least now you’ll have a little more appreciation for what I do all day.”

               “You don’t do anything besides eat, sleep, and run in circles at the drop of a hat.”

               Chairman nodded seriously. “A very full existence.”

               “Why _do_ you run in circles in the middle of the night?” Magnus inquired.

               “Simple zest for life.” Chairman purred. “Life excites me.”

               “It has been many years since I have been able to share that sentiment,” Magnus sighed. “Don’t mistake, Alexander has made my life worth living again, but I’ve been alive for so very long that sometimes all six-hundred-years seems tedious and repetitive.”

               “Is that why you and Alexander are different?”

               Magnus looked at him. “What do you mean?”

               Chairman drew his tongue down his chest in a few languid strokes. “Your eyes are more like cat eyes, for one, while his are human eyes. As well, you have a different smell.” Chairman tipped his head, obviously looking for words. “You smell very…old. He smells very young—like the difference between a kitten and an old cat.”

               Magnus studied his cat. It suddenly occurred to him that he was immortal and his cat was not. The thought hurt his heart almost as much as it hurt when he thought about Alec dying and leaving him alone.

               He wanted to tell Chairman. He wanted him to know how much he loved him, how much he would miss him. How he would live forever, and his cat would not. But how do you explain that to a cat, to someone who has almost no sense of real-world time?

               He turned back to Alec, who was fumbling about at the stove and muttering to himself. “I suppose that is why we’re different,” he murmured quietly.

 

This was making Alec _very uncomfortable._

               He had obtained some leftover pasta from Magnus’s fridge and heated it up for his dinner—with his boyfriend as a cat, he was in no state to cook. So between bites, he was reading the spellbook over and over, afraid of measuring, counting, or adding incorrectly with explosive results. The two cats were sitting together on the counter, occasionally rumbling back and forth at each other.

               He carefully dropped a feather from one vial into the mixture that was bubbling on the stove and stepped back quickly as it popped, curling wisps of pink smoke into the air. “I hate cooking,” he sighed, turning back to the book. He added a few more things and picked up a metal whisk, stirring the mixture gently.

               Magnus meowed. Alec turned to him and found the cat pawing at the book. He leaned in and looked at the print below the cat’s paw.

               “’Add the leopard whisker and then stir quickly until a foam appears on top of the boil’,” he read. “I’m going to spill it though,” he said, looking at his boyfriend.

               Magnus tapped the book again, the implication clear. Alec sighed and moved the pot off the heat. Magnus growled.

               “Angel, _fine_ ,” Alec exclaimed, setting it on the heat and gripping the handle of the pot firmly in his left hand. Frowning in concentration, he spun the whisk in his right, whipping the slightly pink mixture back and forth until a froth began to form. The smell changed, from watery to something almost savory. Magnus meowed again, rising to his paws.

               “Is it done?” Alec asked, brow furrowed. Magnus yawned and stretched. Alec picked up a spoon and dipped it into the mixture, picking up a scoop. The surface tension was unreal—it extended a good inch above the lip of the spoon in a quivering mound. He turned back to the book.

               “Leave uncovered for a day at minimum,” he read, then frowned. “A full day?” He looked at Magnus for confirmation. The cat dropped his head in a nod. “So what are we supposed to do until then?”

               Chairman stretched and yawned, grumbling quietly. Magnus purred and headbutted the other cat, then wandered over to Alec and licked his forearm. Alec took the pot off the burner and set it on a cool one, watching it for a moment. “I guess I’ll just leave this here.” He checked his watch. “It’s almost eleven,” he sighed, rubbing his face in his hands. “I think I might go to bed soon.”

               Chairman yowled, pawing at the box of food Alec had left on the counter. Magnus eyed it with a bit of disdain. Alec picked up the black cat and poured some of the pebbles into Chairman’s bowl. The kitten jumped off the counter and buried his face in his bowl.

               Alec got a second bowl out of the cabinet and set it beside Chairman Meow, pouring some pebbles into that one. It made a loud rattling noise. Alec sat the black cat down next to it. Magnus took one look and shot him a look full of indignation, an expression that was unmistakable in his gold-green eyes, cat or warlock. Alec laughed, shaking his head.

               “If you’re a kitty now, Mags, you have to learn to eat kitty food. A lot of people food isn’t safe for pretty little kitties.” He bent down and scratched his head. “My good little kitten.”

               _Oh, the kick Jace would get out of hearing me talk to my boyfriend like this._

               “I’m going to change and go to bed, then,” he announced to no one in particular. “You two can feel free to join me if that’s something you care to do.” Feeling awkward and a little out of place, he stepped around the cats and down the hallway toward the bedroom.

               _This blows_ , he thought as he dropped his battlegear jeans and swapped them for a pair of Magnus’s sweatpants, pulling his short-sleeve shirt off and dropping it onto the nightstand. _I was really looking forward to a nice dinner and then making out until we fell asleep. I guess I’m sleeping alone tonight._

He moved various boxes from the bed to the floor and sat down on the edge of the king-size four-poster. _At least it’s Magnus’s bed_ , he thought with a smile. He stretched out on the canary yellow comforter, pulling a pillow to his chest and burying his face into it. It smelled like whiskey and mocha and sandalwood, with just a little bit of something flowery and musky. It was Alec’s favorite of Magnus’s colognes—it was like a magnetic pull, making it hard for Alec to keep his hands off his boyfriend, hard to keep his face away from his neck.

               He wouldn’t be surprised if there was a bit of magic in that bottle.

               Alec burrowed into the blankets, scrolling through his phone for a few moments. He was beginning to doze off when he heard pawsteps and a small weight landed on the bed. Magnus swiped his tongue around his jaws and padded over to Alec, purring. Chairman was close behind.

               Alec smiled and raised the blankets invitingly. Chairman ignored him and settled down on the pillow above Alec’s head, beginning to lick and chew at his hair. Magnus didn’t hesitate and crawled under the blanket, circling a couple times and settling down against Alec’s chest, stretched out and looking up at him with big eyes.

               “You’re so warm,” Alec murmured, rubbing the cat’s chin. His eyes slitted and his paws kneaded on Alec’s forearm. “I love you,” he murmured instinctively. “I love you so much, Magnus.”

               Magnus meowed back at him, a contented sound. Alec wrapped both arms around the cat and fell asleep not long after, Magnus purring softly the whole time.

 

Magnus snuggled up to his boyfriend, loving the feeling of his calloused fingertips on his chin. His back leg began to twitch as he soothed an irritating itch, making Alec chuckle. Purr after purr rolled from his chest, vibrating his paws and his ears.

               “I love you.”

               Magnus’s ears shot upright. It was the first sentence that had come through loud and clear since Alexander had arrived that evening. He had picked up on some words—his name, _potion_ , _dinner_ , _kitty_ —and Magnus had made the potion before so he knew how to make it. Every time Alec spoke, it had sounded like it was coming from underwater or from the end of a very long, echoey tunnel.

               But now—it was loud and clear. It warmed Magnus from nose to tail, and he purred harder, licking and nibbling Alec’s chin. The Shadowhunter bent his head and kissed Magnus’s nose.

               “I love you so much, Magnus,” he said softly.

               “I love you too,” he meowed, “even if you can’t hear me.”

               “You sicken me,” Chairman mumbled tiredly from his spot atop Alec’s head. Magnus couldn’t bring himself to reply, surrounded by Alec’s warmth and smell, feeling his hands playing gently with his fur. The overstimulation was going to be something Magnus was going to miss dearly. He closed his eyes and burrowed into Alec’s bare chest, feeling him breathe as he slept.

               _I love you so much._

 

“Alright, here we go,” Alec said with a sigh, having left that morning to go to the Institute after feeding both cats. He reentered Magnus’s apartment in the evening, calling for Chairman instinctively and then, after a moment, Magnus.

               Both cats popped their heads up from the couch and jumped down, running to greet him. Chairman wound around Alec’s ankles while Magnus leapt into his arms, purring loudly.

               “I’ll miss how soft and warm you are like this,” Alec teased as Magnus licked and nibbled at his chin. “Plus, I don’t think my life has ever been quieter; it’s nice when you aren’t singing at the top of your lungs all the time.”

               Ignorant, Magnus meowed happily.

               Alec set him on the countertop, where Chairman joined him. Alec turned to where the pot from the night before was still settled on the stove. Scanning the book, he stirred it gently with the whisk. It immediately turned from thick and pink to a fabulous purple color, wisps and sparks rising from it.

               “This looks dangerous,” Alec said with a shudder, scooping some into a small bowl and setting it in front of Magnus. “Drink up, Mags.”

 

Magnus peered into the bowl. The odor had faded significantly from the night before and smelled cool and damp, like dew on grass.

               “There’s your ticket back to humanity,” Chairman meowed, twitching his tail back and forth along the counter. “I will say, I’m going to miss having some company. Have you ever considered getting another cat?”

               “You’re a handful on your own,” Magnus said with a purr. “But I’ll consider it. And I’ll try to listen more from now on.” He touched noses with Chairman. “It’s been fun.”

               “It has,” he purred. “Now go on. I’m sick of watching Alexander mope about.”

               Magnus dipped his nose into the bowl. He looked up at Alec, who had his arms crossed and his head tipped. “Here we go,” he muttered, taking a few tentative drinks.

 

Alec leaned back against the counter as Magnus licked the last few traces off of his nose, sharp white teeth shining in the half-light. He looked up at Alec, then back at Chairman, and then he coughed.

               Several things then happened all at once.

               Magnus’s back arched and he coughed, gagging and staggering to the side. Chairman leapt in the air with a startled yowl. Alec gasped and reached for him, but the cat slid off the other side of the counter, landing with an ungraceful _thud_. There was a bit of a tussling sound, and then silence.

               “Mags?” Alec asked into the quiet. Chairman crept toward the edge of the counter and peered over, bristling.

               “For Lilith’s sake,” a familiar voice groaned, and an olive hand gripped the edge of the countertop. Hauling himself to his feet, a very naked Magnus rubbed his head with one hand.

               Alec, flushing, forced himself to focus only on his face. “Magnus! How do you feel?”

               “Sore and suddenly very large and clumsy,” he exhaled. He looked up and smiled brightly at his boyfriend. “But hey, I’m not a cat anymore.”

               Alec turned away, face red, and handed his boyfriend a dish towel. “You’re, ah…naked, Mags.”

               Magnus glanced down at himself in all his glory. “So I am,” he observed, and crossed his arms. He pointedly ignored the dish towel. “Does this make you uncomfortable, Alexander?” he asked with a grin.

               “Just—cover up,” Alec muttered, his face and body growing hotter by the second.

               Magnus laughed and snapped his fingers—a pair of boxers appeared in his hands, which he stepped into. “So perhaps don’t remind you of the fact that I was very much naked when we slept together last night?”

               Nakedness with each other wasn’t something that was unusual between the two men, but Magnus’s confidence in his body wasn’t something Alec shared. While Magnus had no problem gallivanting about the apartment naked, it always caught Alec off-guard and made him squirm.

               “You were a cat,” Alec said, throwing his hands up. “It doesn’t count! Anyway—how did you even _end up_ like that?”

               Magnus reached out a hand for Chairman, and the kitten let his ears be rubbed. He purred gently. “I was making a potion for that werewolf client of mine. Chairman decided to play in it, and in trying to save him, I knocked the pan off the stove and all over myself and him. My magic connected with it, myself, and Chairman, and I think it reacted poorly.”

               “You were a handsome cat, if that helps,” Alec replied. Magnus put his hands on his hips triumphantly.

               “I always knew I’d be a handsome cat.”

               Alec chuckled. “Regardless.”

               Magnus came around the counter and wrapped his boyfriend in his strong arms, kissing his mess of hair. “Thank you for that,” he said softly. “Even if it did take you far too long to figure out that it was me and not a stray.”

               Alec laughed. “To be fair, Magnus, coming home to you as a cat isn’t something I’m used to.” Magnus ducked to kiss him but was faintly wounded when Alec pushed his face away, snickering. “I won’t kiss you until you go brush your teeth. Not only do I see where Chairman Meow’s tongue goes on the daily, but you smell like cat food.”

               Magnus scowled but shrugged, chuckling. “I can’t say I’m surprised. I’ll be back, lover.” He dropped a glittery wink and sauntered off. Alec watched him go, the lithe muscles in his back and the way his hips swayed when he moved.

               “You know, he’s very catlike as a human,” he said to Chairman, who was grooming his tail. “I’m really unsure how I didn’t catch on faster.”

               Chairman yawned at him. Alec smiled and rubbed the kitten’s ears.

               “Although, I do think he owes me for last night,” he continued, his smile turning a bit feral. “Why don’t you stay here, kitten? I don’t want _you_ to get hurt.”

               Chairman watched the Shadowhunter disappear down the hallway and sighed.

               “I hope Magnus takes my request for another cat seriously,” he muttered, “or I might just have to play in another potion.” He stretched languidly and wandered over to the couch for a nap. “It’s nice to have someone to talk to sometimes.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was so much fun to write! Just a fun little oneshot (that turned out a lot longer than I intended for it to be).
> 
> Leave a review and a kudos if you enjoyed!!


End file.
